Can you laugh when it feels like everything is crashing down around you?

Key word here: feels.

I have moments where I feel like a little leaf that’s been spiked onto a cactus by the wind, left there to decompose with no hope of escape.

In these moments, I need to remind myself, this too shall pass. This is only a moment. Not all moments are happy and pleasant, but neither are they all filled with suffering.

When I was going through chemo, I would get my blood drawn a lot. Every week I was being poked and prodded.

I have a debilitating fear of needles, so this caused me an incredible amount of distress. I can still feel it. I’m actually crying as I type this.

In these moments, my mom would be there with me, and she would sing these stupid kids’ songs. It was so ridiculous that I couldn’t help but laugh. I was still afraid, but it really helped so much to lighten the mood.

I relied on humour a lot during this time. A LOT. It was my primary defence mechanism.

It was also the only way I could cope. The other way was to deny how horrible everything seemed.

I think the humour was healthier, because again, as I type this, I can feel that I have not processed the pain and distress that I went through.

It’s very difficult to describe just how confusing it is when your body seems to turn against you.

I also believe it happened for a reason. I have to right? The alternative is to label myself a victim, and doing that leaves me powerless.

I am not a victim of cancer. I am a survivor. I fucking killed that shit so it wouldn’t kill me.

And I did it laughing.

I may have been crying at the same time, but I was laughing.

It’s not always easy, I know. Trust me, I know. But it’s not impossible.

It is very, very possible.

Maybe it’s not the right approach for you, but I have found that humour brings light into dark situations.

When we can find it within ourselves to smile we take a little bit of the power away from the situation and give it back to ourselves.

How we respond to life is the real test. It’s not what happens to you, but how you handle that and what you make of it that matters.