What Is the Meaning of Suffering? (Or Do We Create It?)

An abstract illustration exploring the tension between suffering, choice, and inner conflict. All artwork © Mea Jordaan

After my experience with cancer, I was absolutely terrified of having to go through it all again.

My focus was so completely on everything beyond my control that I couldn’t even acknowledge that I had made it through. It was hard to feel grateful because I was so wrapped up in how unfair, painful, and terrifying the experience was.

But eventually, I realised that I was only causing myself more suffering by focusing only on my fear.

Why We Look for Meaning in Suffering

Maybe you haven’t had cancer—but you’ve likely felt this in some form.

That sense of being stuck in something painful, asking: why is this happening to me?

My personal belief is that we use meaning to create a sense of safety. This safety isn’t always obvious—it can show up in thoughts like:

• “Life isn’t fair”

• “This will never work”

• “I can’t do that”

These statements remove your agency. When you believe you hold no power, you also remove responsibility—and there is a strange comfort in that.

It keeps you from failing, because it keeps you from trying. And in doing so, it keeps you from learning.

The Meaning of Suffering Isn’t Fixed

What is the meaning of suffering? What is the meaning of anything?

To put it bluntly, nothing has inherent meaning, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

We create meaning through context.

Here’s the real trick: most of us take the meanings we’ve created as facts. But meaning is based on belief and not reality.

The reality is that there is no meaning other than the one you have created.

Meaning is a choice. We apply it to situations, events, and experiences—and reinforce it through belief.

How Our Worldview Shapes Meaning

We codify our world through language. If you only know one language, your world will be much smaller than someone who knows more.

Language is one of our primary filters. It shapes how we interpret the world—what we extract and what we ignore.

Culture is another filter. All cultures hold beliefs, which layer with language to create something unique. Then on top of that, we have personal lived experience.

My point is that there is a tremendous shaping of our worldview happening through these systems of interpretation.

Outside of our interpretation, things simply are—there is no story attached.

A fire has no inherent meaning. It’s just fire. But to a person, it may mean warmth, safety, power, or destruction.

What I Gained From Surviving Cancer

When I finally sat with my experience instead of resisting it, I asked myself a different question:

What did this give me?

Here is what I found:

• Compassion

• Empathy

• Gratitude

• Forgiveness

Compassion for myself, who felt so very alone at the time. Empathy for my family, for whom this experience must have been equally traumatic.

Gratitude for my life and the quality of care I received. Thank you for saving my life.

And forgiveness for myself—who I had blamed for everything.

I realised that I could turn this trauma into something valuable and meaningful by choosing to learn from it and to share what I learned.

Shifting Perspective: From Suffering to Growth

By choosing to share my experience, I hope to ease the loneliness of someone going through something similar.

It is my choice to use my pain as a method of transformation.

Not to identify with the pain, but to acknowledge how that pain gave me opportunities to grow.

I am a more compassionate and understanding person because of my trauma. It’s given me purpose by offering me opportunities to share what I’ve learned in the hope of lessening the self-imposed suffering of others.

It’s also shown me how much suffering exists in the world—and how often we unknowingly reinforce it through our beliefs.

What my trauma has given me is conviction: to work towards a better version of myself and a better world.

To reflect the world that I want, I need to act with honest integrity and compassionate kindness.

So—What Meaning Do You Choose?

This is the meaning I have chosen to create.

What do you choose to believe—and to what end?

I’m not here to tell anyone how to think or feel, simply to offer an alternative that I hope can serve you better than what you may be accepting as inevitable.